usir | [open] But I know I'll land here again

Entry tags:

castlevania: alucard

[open] But I know I'll land here again

Character(s): Alucard + Open
Status: Open
Location(s): Krimnos -> Home in the mountains
Date(s) Start of April -> Einjar Expedition II, Electric Boogaloo
About: General catch all log
Warnings: To be added

Note: Castle is not representative of Usir canon castle, just roll with me on this

[Krimnos is mostly for picking up supplies these days, then departing for home. Alucard's affection for the city has grown slightly, such as it is. Any place that encourages such dedication to technological development has earned that much, just as it has focused it's efforts on exploration and understanding. Einjar was proof of that. But he doesn't linger in the city, not when home is two days away.

Those looking for him there are most likely to find him in market spaces, or else in the part of the city dedicated to invention. He does little but observe in the latter space.

On the road between home and Krimnos, Alucard is all too keenly aware of the world around him. There is, of course, the little hamlet that marks the half-way point between home and the city, and he rests there between his trips. With warmer evenings out, he takes advantage of the one inn that boasts of a patio for evening meals, and can be found there with food remaining on his plate and a glass of probably too-dark wine in hand, barely drunk. For all the world, they look closer to props that let him settle in for a time, taking in the world around him.

Home is still a crumbling castle, whose remaining spire still reaches up towards the heavens. It is aged, save for the new lock on the door that makes it clear that this long thought cursed relic is inhabited by the living.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Sypha's presence in the castle has stirred up many emotions for all involved. The anger of her being dragged back, the relief in seeing her face, the sheer awkwardness of the fact that Alucard and Trevor had started at...something that might in the eyes of others be an actual relationship that came from having to look after each other in Sypha's absence. In all of that though, two things were clear.

The first? Nothing was happening to Sypha if the other two could help it. That meant if they weren't in the room with her, an animus likely was. The second was that their room was her room too for as long as she wanted it that way.

But joy of reunions wear out, eventually. There are parts of reawakening that need far more adjusting to, and for that there is no quick and easy fix, no words to be vowed to make the problem go away. There is only space, and there is only time.

Alucard's outside at the moment, clearing overgrowth from the path that leads up to the castle itself. With the spring comes all the pesky plants and vines, and he'll not have any of the three of them get injured simply walking up to the house.]

[ Space and time are both good and necessary things, but for a Speaker who has just come back from the dead after losing her entire family, being alone for too long in the big, empty castle is enough to make her feel like the walls are closing in. Her heart is beating a little harder than she'd like to admit when she clambers out the front door to take a deep breath of fresh, crisp air.

In all of the overgrown, gloomy scenery that seems to surround the castle, Alucard isn't hard to notice. He's a gleaming, golden spot against the dark backdrop of the wooded path, and she's drawn to him immediately, tail swishing as she walks out to meet him.

It's been a few days now, and she's still getting settled, but to be here with him and with Trevor is still a novelty to her. This domestic situation isn't something she'd ever imagined for herself, but here she is, happy to be in one place for the first time in her life.

As she approaches Alucard, she calls his name and gestures to the work he's doing. ]

Let me help you with that.

Hm?

[Alucard has a formidable looking shovel in hand, and beside him is a pile of the more dangerous greenery that always takes up residence during spring. He hasn't exactly specified where the shovel came from beyond I found some ruins of one of the other spires, and there's a few other nastier looking things that he's using for digging up stubborn roots. They're...definitely not ment to be hoes, he knows that much.

Sypha's presence is something he's adjusted to quickly, just as he's adjusted to Trevor's. He's still angry that someone has done this to either of them, but it's so easy to mute all of that in favor of the stupid looks of adoration he's given Trevor in the few days between their first...official declaration of whatever the hell this is and Sypha's return. With Sypha, there's only the quiet relief for her presence and how the house feels that much warmer.]

Oh uh. Please, yes. You'd probably be better at it than I anyway.

[ While not opposed to manual labor, the judicious application of magic is just the thing to take a tedious task and make it slightly less so. She urges Alucard to back up slightly before pointing her fingers and crossing her arms over her chest in the classic form of the Speaker magicians.

With a flick of her wrists, a swathe of errant greenery is frozen over, rimed with ice thick enough to make branches droop and sag. In the next movement, the ice shatters, breaking all the crystalline plants into tiny shards. A sweeping motion of her hand sends all the fragments blowing away, tumbling over each other into the distance.

She grins at Alucard once it's done, her tail curling in amusement.]

Does that about do it?

[Sypha's magic is always a wonder. They hardly ever had time to appreciate it before, but oh, it saved them so many times. She's a powerhouse in a way that Alucard's sword and Trevor's fighting skills never could be. A few motions, all intent, and...this.

Alucard's face is one that betrays the wonder of it all, and then it crosses into polite anxiety as it always does when he has to stop looking awestruck and function like an actual person.]

Well, you just saved me an afternoon's worth of work, so yes. Yes it does.

[ She beams at him, pleased to be doing something useful instead of sitting around navel-gazing. It's nice to use her magic for something helpful that isn't murdering vampires and hellish hoards. Even better, they're there together, and his expression in that brief moment before he clams up again makes everything seem worth it.

Gesturing farther down the road, she asks: ]

Why don't we do more? It doesn't take long with magic, and we could... spend some time together. [ A bit of an awkward finish, but she's made her request known. ]

[Alucard's eyes go along the path that leads up to the castle. It's a short one, mostly because to get to that path one must go through other woods meant to make getting to the place more difficult. His father was...his father, for lack of any other descriptor. He placed the castle here with reason.

He nods.]

We could go down so far as the woods. And...[There's a pause as he turns back to the castle.]

No, I think I'll leave the ivy growing along the walls. It feels right.

[ Following along with his assessment, Sypha nods. ] It wouldn't be difficult to clear it out, but you're right about the ivy. It gives the castle a more... homely feel.

[ Not that she knows anything about homes, having never had one before, but her intuition tells her that it's right. The castle is a big, black slash across the clear sky, and the growing vines help soften its edges.

Her magic makes short work of the encroaching flora, a one, two, three-step punch that sends all the frozen bits and pieces blowing away into the undergrowth of the forest. With that done, she smiles again at Alucard. ]

Well, now. It seems your afternoon schedule has been all cleared up.

You mean it makes it less of Dracula's Demon Castle.

[Trevor had called it as such before, or something close to the phrase. Alucard didn't remember the specifics, only that it had been so very accurate. It was an obsidian thing that dwarved all those who approached, even after they had all died. Alucard had heard plenty of spooky tavern tales about the place, and he had smiled thinly at the theories of what manner of spirits lived there. None were accurate.

He continues to stand back as Sypha finished the work. It takes no time at all, and Alucard's not sure if there is anything else he even intended to get done today. It doesn't feel as such, not anymore. So with Sypha's smile, he approaches.]

That much has, although I'm at a loss as to what to do next. [His eyes remain on Sypha, rather than darting to the castle or to the woods.] I feel as if housework is out of the question, and there's significantly less books in the castle to help beat back boredom.

[But he can at least make one suggestion.] Let's at least use the steps to sit on, since it's still nice out.

[ She can't really argue with his assessment: it definitely was Dracula's Demon Castle, and the specter of its past life still hangs over it in many ways. They're all haunted by the past, and all the ways things went wrong. The vines, though, are proof that life endures, even in their absence. Nature had begun the arduous task of reclaiming the castle, and now the three of them are there to see it through, to make a home out of that imposing structure.

At his prompting, the pair of them take a seat on the castle steps, just a few scant inches apart. Her tail curls around behind him, not touching but forming a protective circle all the same. ]

It feels strange to be here without some quest to accomplish. I'm not sure what to do with myself, if I'm being honest.

[Alucard doesn't know what he'll find in the weeks and months to come, as the whole of the ruin is exposed by the oncoming spring rains and the time to explore. He'll find rubble from the old spires, that he's sure of. Surviving books and deeply hidden treasures? Perhaps. But it's more likely to just be more stone and pained memories, and there is a horrible part of him that is relieved to have them both here to help through the worst of it. This kind of mourning, this is easier. It isn't the deep and horrible sadness that demanded months of being alone to process the way that their parting in life had.

The world was wide back then, and it demanded still more from them. Now? Now it was harder to say.

Alucard's hands rest flat on the stones, splayed and taking some of his weight. One is so very near to Sypha's tail, but he doesn't dare move to grasp it. Tails are weighty things for tieflings after all.]

I...consider it fortunate that there's always going to be repairs left on the castle, even if I won't always have enough coin to accomplish those repairs. It forces me to have something to do.

[But Sypha's circumstances differ. She's living in one space now. She's living with only two people now. That's probably a lot already.]

Maybe the better question is what do you want to do?

I... don't know.

[ It's a hard thing to admit for someone who's always had some kind of goal to strive after, even if that was as straightforward as moving from town to town and remembering people's stories for future generations. Is she even a Speaker anymore now that she's stationary? If even such a key component of her identity is able to be called into question, where does that mean for her? She'd always been so sure of herself in the past, but after awakening, her life is nothing but questions that need answering.>

I want to help people, if I can. The way we used to. I don't know if it's possible, though. I have no idea if there are even any other Speakers left, or if I'm the only one.

[ What she does know is that there's no way she'd leave Trevor and Alucard behind. It would be better to stay put here with them for the rest of her life than to travel alone. Their company is vital to her now; they're her family. However that looks, whatever it means, she knows that much is true. ]

Beyond that... it's hard to say. I was trained to do one thing, and now that isn't really an option anymore. Maybe this is a chance to reinvent myself.

[When the words I don't know are said, there's a sad, pained smile on Alucard's face. He's quiet as he lets Sypha speak, put all her thoughts out into the open. The familarity of them pains him. There's eyes that are on her, but not quite, and when Sypha finishes, Alucard lets out a long breath.]

This is the conversation we've been having with your absence. What to do with a lack of purpose.

[It was all that plagued either of them, really. Trevor had concluded that they owed nothing to the living, not anymore, but beyond that it was...there was just a world that felt too open and too moved on from either of them.]

Looking after each other in your absence was about all we could find that suited us. And that we'd look after you should that fact change.

[So that much is settled.]

You said something about stories before. Maybe...maybe in the absence of all of your people, you could find another way to share stories that still doesn't involve writing them down?

I don't need looking after, Alucard. [ The protest is a token and little else. She says it, but it isn't what she means, and he should know that. Of course she needs looking after--they all do, and they all need to look after each other now that they're together. Fate has brought them together not once but twice; surely that has to mean something.

As proof that she's not actually opposed, she leans in slightly, her shoulder against his. ]

But we should write them down. There's so much that needs to be shared, and it would be a massive undertaking, but it would be worth it. Even if we found another way, writing is the simplest and the most effective. It... it might not be tradition, but if there are...

[ Sypha has to stop for a moment. She had nearly just said, "if there are no other Speakers," which was an assumption that she hadn't had the opportunity to verify yet and wasn't sure she wanted to. The Speaker culture had existed for generations long before her birth--who was to say that they hadn't continued on after her death? Her family wasn't the only train of Speakers that existed, and there very well could be others traveling the world, somewhere out beyond her reckoning. Her tail flicks and some of the long, blue strands fall over the back of Alucard's hand. The difference in color is striking.

She tries to speak again. ]

New traditions can be made. If we hear word of other Speakers, I could share my stories with them, but if not... then they have to be written down. Better that than to be lost forever.

[Sypha is settled against his shoulder before Alucard can say or do anything else, and from there, the whole of the situation well and truly dawns on him. Alucard had had time to mourn the loss of both his parents in life. Trevor had had even more time to do the same. Sypha's people had been with her to the end, and when the word speakers isn't said, the full weight of it settles all too heavily on Alucard.

There could be pockets of speakers that endure. But the ones that were a part of Sypha's line, they're gone now, aren't they?

He and Trevor have been in a strange space lately, refusing to label whatever thing exists between them now, now that they've kissed, now that they've shared a bed for as long as they've had. (Technically, Trevor is the bed.) Sypha's presence, how she might react to it, that's an unknown. Still is.

But it's so easy to shift so that the arm of the shoulder Sypha's leaning against is now wrapped around her, pulling her closer to Alucard's chest.]

There are so many inventors in Krimnos now. If there was a way to record a story so that the voice of the Speaker could be heard, they'd be the people to do it. And we could write them down too. That way there's a back up.

[A new tradition and the old. He doesn't say much more than that, but Alucard's eyes drift to Sypha's tail, how it rests against his all too pale hand, and he doesn't know if it's right but he gently wraps his free hand around it in hope of providing additional comfort.]

[ A very slight shiver runs through Sypha's body, but there's no retaliation when Alucard touches her tail. It is comforting, knowing with absolute certainty that there is someone in this world still who is family to her, even though everyone she'd grown up with is long gone.

It makes her sniffle. Though she's studiously been avoiding thinking about things that would make her cry, the combined talk of Speakers and the nebulous future and the lack of purpose she feels has her on the verge of tears. Alucard's soft touch is permission as much as anything else, and she leans in against him and begins to weep. Her tail closes in around him, pulling them closer together so he knows she isn't upset at him, but that she takes solace from him. ]

[Alucard's felt all the little heartbreaks of being back from the dead before. The loneliness, the world being so better off without oneself. But to see another go through it, and far more keenly than he has (for he has always held himself apart from the world) is far worse to witness.

He can speak of kindnesses and pleasantries, but it isn't what Sypha needs right now. Words isn't what she needs right now. All the dhampir can manage is to pull her in as close as possible without dragging her onto his lap (she'd be too big), his chin resting carefully on her shoulder to add another weight that should have some kind of comfort currency.

They're long gone. All three of them are long gone and out of the world.]

[ She wraps herself around and into his embrace as much as is physically possible for someone of her stature, muffling her quiet sobs against him. Time has no meaning now; it could be minutes or hours or days that pass while she cries for the ones she's lost. Her grandfather, kind and smiling and always so willing to help and guide and protect--what will she do without him? Who will pat her head and tell her stories and sing her songs, the way he had when she was a child? Who will tell her to be careful when she decides to do something reckless? Who will worry for her when she does the reckless thing regardless of their warning?

Her hands fist into the fabric of Alucard's shirt, and the answer is obvious. It's in front of her, all around her. All she has to do is accept it. Trevor and Alucard can't take her grandfather's place, but they'll be there for her when she needs them, which is what really matters.

Eventually, her body stills, no longer wracked with sobs. Her hands scrub over her face, wiping away the remnants of her tears. She doesn't immediately pull away from him, though, choosing instead to stay curled up with him a moment longer. Her voice is quiet and tentative when she speaks again. ]

Is this all right?

[Time doesn't really matter, in the end. Alucard knows that grief doesn't care about time, how much it demands, how much it takes, how much it devours. It is a nonlinear process, and this? This is the first of so much to come. The process is awful. Harrowing. He hates it deeply, and he hates that now it must wash over Sypha in a single, horrid wave.

It doesn't matter how long Sypha takes to settle against him, to let the first wave of it out. He's there. He's there, perfectly still, a rock to steady against.]

Trevor and I are experts at this. It's fine.

[It's a poor attempt at humor, but there is a truth in those words all the same.]

[ She wonders if it really is fine. Not so much that Alucard minds--he's deflecting with humor, after all, but what does that mean for him? He's an expert, he says, him and Trevor both. It's not really something to be proud of but this is their life now. They are, all of them, well-acquainted with grief, but some more than others. She wishes it weren't so, but even her most powerful magic can't change the past.

At some point she disentangles herself very carefully, just enough to lift her head without poking Alucard with her horns. Her fingers graze over his cheek and she smiles at him, eyes still watery but more hopeful now, at least. Her tail remains tightly curled around him. ]

Thank you, my friend. I didn't mean to... no, never mind.

[Joking about loss is hardly the best way to approach grief. Alucard has always been a man who let the full of his emotions in private only, and to try and guide someone else feels hollow in a way.

His heart aches when Sypha looks up at him though, and there's nothing he can offer for her still too-watery eyes but his coat sleeve. Which he does, holding up his wrist and awkwardly trying to dab.]

It's never a linear process, navigating this. [The honesty is important, more than anything else.]

I'm here. We're both here, whenever you need us. [He breathes out, soft.] For now, what would help you most? Going inside, walking....?

[ Alucard's fumbling attempt to dry her eyes is so sweet that Sypha can't help but smile, and when he dabs at her tears she leans in and closes her eyes to make it a little bit easier for him. It's just what she needed to help take that razor's edge off her grief, to put her sadness away just for a little while and be with her friend. ]

Linear or not, if you two are around... I think I'll be all right. [ Eventually. Definitely not now, and probably not for a while to come. But eventually.

Considering for a moment, she looks back out on the still-sunny afternoon and flicks the tip of her tail. ]

A walk could be nice. I'm not ready to go inside just yet.

[The two of them, huh? Alucard doesn't sigh at that thought, but he has been unsure of how he and Trevor's current state might be taken by Sypha. It isn't a secret that Alucard rests on Trevor's chest as a mattress at night, and he sleeps late into the morning. They're not subtle.

Likewise, Alucard doesn't know if he's managed to dry all of Sypha's tears. He hopes he's done enough. (He feels he'll never do enough.)]

A walk we can do. [He feels the motion of her tail, and his eyes drift towards it.]

Do you intend to hold me the entire walk?

[ A stretch of silence passes between them as Sypha's tail uncurls from around Alucard's body, her cheeks flushing purple even as she tries to play it cool. Nothing to see here, folks. ] Shall we go then? [ She hops to her hooves and shakes herself out a little, stretching and popping a few joints. Once Alucard is on his feet, the two of them start off. She ambles along with no real direction in mind, soaking in the afternoon sun.

She hasn't failed to notice that things seem different between Trevor and Alucard in the few days since she arrived. They still bicker, of course, but there's no heat in it. They've been back for some time now, on their own without her, so she's glad they haven't torn each other apart. She'd always wanted them to get along better before, and she supposes this counts. ]

Do you travel often to the city? If we're going to record my voice somehow, I'd like to investigate that soon.

You didn't have to let go...

[Maybe she did. The strange status of what he is with Trevor and what they both are to Sypha means that touch is a strange thing. In a bad light, it'd look like romancing someone other than the Belmont. And...that's the crux, isn't it? All of this happened only because Sypha was gone, and they both agreed that of the three of them, she was the one easiest to be devoted to.

She's too far away to offer an arm to lean on. Sypha's feet are also far too well suited for the terrain, which means Alucard has to put real effort into keeping pace. It's strange when that happens, but never a struggle. It's nice, being the normalish one.]

We've been going once every two weeks or so to get things for the house and fresh food. The town we stop in half way has a market during the growing season, but we've only been here since January.

I assumed you'd be coming with us on the next run.

[open] But I know I'll land here again

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